Discousia

Discousia: A Victorianish Fairytale

by Nicholas Lovelock

2 out of 5

Synopsis
Revolution, romance and technological wonders are all in a day's work for the decorated hero of Alavonia, Sir Arthur Pageon.

An acclaimed explorer and inventor, Sir Arthur Pageon takes his unofficial role as defender of the realm of Avalonia very seriously. A fantastical world, Avalonia is home to the Discoucian Monarchy, as well as monstrous creatures and secretive academies for the highly gifted.

Upon returning from his most recent exploits aboard on his personal flying galleon The Nostradamus, Pageon is treated to a hero’s welcome and celebratory procession through the streets of Avalonia’s capital, Evermore. Little does Pageon know he’s being followed by a mysterious group known as the Purple Guard, whose devious leader is his estranged sister, Queen Lily Pageon of Harrha Island. Fiercely intelligent, Lily specialises in dastardly technological inventions with the aim of bringing down the Discoucian Monarchy so that she may reign as its dictator. However, the heir to the throne is one Princes Josephine Oladine, whose youth and royal position masks her role in the Discoucian Secret Service.

Joining forces, Princess Josephine and Sir Arthur’s adventures will take them across the whole of Avalonia — from the fog-bound shores of Karga, to the secret underground shanty town beneath the frozen prison of Icester, south to the verdant city of Proceur and from there to the affluent Starfall Academy — in their quest to foil Lily’s revolutionary plans.



Review
Sir Arthur and Princess Josephine are the best hopes to save Avalonia from the fiendish Queen Lily.

I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

This was a great idea, a fantasy world with a Victorian Steampunk setting, with magic monsters and very tangible gods.
It sets out to be a fun adventure, with super-spy and all-round-hero Arthur, and the brave-but-beautiful Josephine head off on their flying ship, seeking answers and a way to save the day.

Unfortunately, this was a great idea, poorly executed.
The writing was amateurish. It stated this was this, and that was that. It also did a weird thing where... I don't know if the author was trying to counter the telling, but it just made the narrative really awkward.

"Arthur opened the curtains and saw that Jo was wearing green shorts, and a long sleeved shirt in a darker green. She was also wearing green shoes, and her platinum hair was held back by a green hair band. Jo saw Arthur was wearing a dark blue suit with a bright blue embroidered waistcoat..."

Yeah, that's as read in my review copy. It really winds me up when you jump heads within the same paragraph.

There were other sins with the plot. 
Arthur and Jo meet for the first time, but they seem to know a lot about each other when it suits them, to fill the narrative with info-dumps for the reader. Then, it's revealed they've never met and don't know each other at all, so they can get further info-dumps in via dialogue.
Don't get me started on the unsuitability of our main duo. Arthur is a famous spy. Yes, famous, everybody recognises him.
Jo is a princess, there's no way she can move around discreetly. Everybody recognises her...

Except from when they don't, because it suits the story.

This was a shame, because there were some moments of natural banter and humour that worked well, but the rest of the narrative made it hard to stick with the story.

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